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Staying On Track with Your Career (or Any) Goals
Ever felt so impassioned about a vision and plan that it seemed
nothing could get in your way? Then something did.
Maybe you were committed to a big career leap, such as heading
up a company division, running a travel agency, being a writer,
or teaching scuba diving. But then, the boss threw up a
roadblock, the bank turned down your loan, the college
eliminated the course you needed.
Sound familiar?
We all feel blocked in our plans at some time or other. The
question is what to do. Fortunately, there are many good ways to
get moving again. Without knowing at least some of them, even
the best lifework plans can evaporate. Here are 5 proven ways to
reconnect with your dream career or any vision you have.
1. Reconnect with your inner self. Try meditating,
praying, walking through the woods, journaling--whatever
refreshes you and leaves you whole and centered. If your
favorite activity doesn't work, try another.
For instance, a woman in one of my workshops rebelled against a
guided imagery exercise I was leading because it took us through
a warm and beautiful forest. Sounds great to most people, but it
left her cold and uncomfortable. She was a city person who
connected with her source by being in crowds of active,
energized people. In other words she went downtown to connect
with her authentic self. So be imaginative and choose whatever
works for you.
2. Reconnect with your core passions and vision. Recall
your original goal and how you felt about it. Visualize it
becoming real. For now, don't question if it's still possible.
When you are discouraged, nothing may look possible. Even
getting out of bed can look overwhelming! Instead, find that
deep desire in yourself where you would love to open a flower
shop, travel the world, or become more creative in your work.
That passion doesn't change just because you haven't achieved
it. Think of how much you love the passion or vision. Be
revitalized by its energy.
Often in my lifework classes, people begin speaking without
energy, slumped in their chairs, embarrassed to admit their
dreams because of how big they seem or because of their
"failures." But as soon as they connect with their passions
instead of their doubts, everything begins to change.
One participant who had barely spoken suddenly electrified the
room with her vision for a retreat center. Someone coming into
the room then might have thought she had told everyone they'd
get a million dollars if they helped her. People were barely
able to contain themselves, wanting to tell her their
suggestions. If she could have opened up that center that night
I think all of us would have signed up immediately. She had
connected with her passion and dreams and helped everyone
believe in themselves.
3. Reconnect with (or establish) a support community.
Talk with your community of support. Don't just gripe. Tell them
exactly what you want now--advice, information, emotional
support. Don't look to your community to solve your problems,
but to stimulate you to meet your own challenges. Also be a good
listener for others. Supporting others can be even more
revitalizing than receiving support.
Actually the whole world can be seen as your support community.
Remember the idea of six degrees of separation: you're no more
than 6 people away from any other person anywhere. When I first
heard this, I told a friend that it wasn't a practical idea. For
instance, I didn't know where to begin to contact someone famous
such as Hillary Clinton. I had known this friend for 20 years,
but he completely surprised me by saying, "I can get you to her.
In fact, I know two people who can get you directly to her if
you need to." Since then I've tested this out many times and
continue to be amazed. So don't assume you don't have the help
you need. It's out there waiting to connect with you.
4, Reconnect with success. Act as if--as if you're
happy, as if you're successful, as if you are energized. It's
not inauthentic. Just because you are feeling sad, angry, or
hopeless doesn't mean you must act in a sad, angry or hopeless
manner. Acknowledge your feelings, and certainly resolve issues
behind them, but don't wait until you feel better before taking
positive steps. Ask what you would do if you were feeling
wonderful about your situation. Ask others what they might do.
Then do something, anything that moves you forward. Remember,
while feelings affect how we act, actions can also affect how we
feel.
One person acted "as if" at a conference where he believed he
didn't know how to meet new people, let alone make fruitful
business contacts. He decided to act as if he was the most
sought after person at the conference. He began introducing
himself to everyone, speaking more confidently, not worrying
about having a good pitch or message. Soon he found people
coming up to talk with him too. He may not have been the most
sought after person, but he transformed the conference from a
frightening challenge into an exciting adventure. He had fun,
learned something and made new contacts for his consulting work.
5. Reconnect with reality. Watch your thinking. When we
are hit with adversity, many of us turn to negative thinking,
making one mistake or two into a major problem with our
personalities or our lives. Psychologist Martin Seligman has 40
years of solid research showing that this kind of thinking
creates a state of learned helplessness which only generates
depression and failure. His advice is to notice when you start
thinking such thoughts as "I messed up--I'm such a jerk" or, "I
messed up--nothing is going right" or, "Another mess-up--nothing
ever changes". Catch your thoughts the next time you mess up,
even if it is only spilling a cup of coffee. Argue with the
thought by presenting a more realistic one ("Yes, I did mess up,
but I now I know how to handle this kind of situation better").
Or just witness it and let it go by.
In short, reconnect with what you know to be real, rather than
letting temporary emotions and thoughts take over your life.
Follow these 5 steps, or even a few of them, and you will find
it faster and easier to get back on track. You will better
prepared to find your way to a state of mind which will allow
you to creatively move ahead toward achieving your lifework
vision.
© 2005 Leonard Lang. All rights reserved
About the author:
Career coach and creativity trainer Leonard Lang, Ph.D.,
helps people get unstuck, find purpose, and land their dream
jobs. You can get a free creativity newsletter, learn about
coaching opportunities, or obtain Leonard's step by step book on
finding your dream career, Guide to Lifework: Working with
Integrity and Heart, at www.beardavenue.com . Or
email Leonard at llang@beardavenue.com with your
questions or ideas.
Leonard Lang, Ph.D.
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